Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Agonizing Love- Poetry

Note: Is it always so difficult to love someone who has an uncertain past? How capable is the human body of loving, in spite of a conditional circumstance?
[Warning: Contains dark content. Read at your own risk]
Agonizing Love ~
This body which has torn and ravaged,
the blackened souls which it has touched,
a physical force with strength untrammeled,
the charcoal color in which I dipped each soul . . .  
I painted every semblance of their skin,
black with my physical paintbrush,
 and every portal of their minds charcoal,
watched as the gleam in each eye, blue or hazel,
darkened immediately upon my artistic choice,
darkening those thoughts of sweetness,
killing them with my black body, soul,
the fear I caused, the shivering pain,
the blood which dripped between them. . .
the charcoal which colored them,
it was all because of me.
My body sought among this evil,
looking for elements of pain,
they became one with my own internment,
the acts became a cage . . .
one for my own pain.
The guilt I live with now for it,
is comprised of sins unsaid,
My has ravaged the souls of many,
torn these virgins from precious glass orbs,
the moment that I slipped inside them, into white,
and colored them with my blackness . . .
though stitched them up again, to staunch the bleeding-
the best that I could manage.
As I laid down beside her, now thinking,
that I am not good enough for love,
that her blessed purity has killed all my feelings,
for anything save hatred and revulsion,
the terms float before my vision,
and mocks my saddened gaze,
as I wonder at what I have done to her,
this tiny flutter between my breast,
blossoming from this small stem,
that lays beneath me still, in solace,
who refuses to leave me and my poison.
Oh, why can I not leave the burden,
of my self-hatred,
to anyone else save for her,
why did I need to fall in love at last,
and taint her with all of my pain, myself?

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